One Thing You Need To Know About Surviving Cancer

There’s only one thing you should know about surviving cancer, and it’s something I wish I knew before I had cancer. It’s something us cancer patients are told upon being diagnosed with cancer when the specialists outline our cancer treatment plan, but we are too focused on how we are going to get through all the proposed chemo and radiation sessions in the initial treatment phase, that the information about the recovery phase goes through to ‘the keeper’.

If a cancer patient (like myself) happens to be one of the lucky ones and go into recovery or remission, they are ready to reclaim their life. That one thing you need to know is this…..  Even though someone beats cancer, even though they look like they are back to their normal self again, the after effects of cancer are there for the rest of their life. It is something they have to manage for the rest of their life. It never ends for them. Sure it might become second nature to them, the effects lessen and they build resilience, but it never ends.

You see, treatment doesn’t just stop and they resume their usual life once they become a survivor. They don’t just pick up from where they left off. Life for them will never be the same again. Their body has changed. Their body’s needs have changed. Life has changed. Change that they didn’t ask for is forced upon them. The life that they saw for themselves is now completely different and that change was out of their control. For some of us survivors, that is an extremely big thing to accept and we need to grieve for the life we thought we would have before we can accept and embrace our new life.

Towards the end of last year, I was chatting to a colleague, when out of curiosity and quite innocently he asked, “So do you believe having cancer has changed you?” I couldn’t help myself but burst into tears. The poor guy. I’m sure he didn’t expect me to respond in that manner. After assuring him I was actually ok, I politely asked to temporarily not answer that question for now and moved on with another part of our discussion. I knew the answer to the question. I just couldn’t, at the time, muster the words to tell him this…. Whilst I don’t believe I have changed as a person or in my personality, and that I am actually ok, I have had change forced upon me, and that requires time with which to adjust.

So what do people who survive cancer have to deal with for the rest of their lives? Well, I’m just going to list them very briefly here so you get an initial idea and then write a follow up blog on this more in depth at a later date. I’m not saying they experience all of these, but here is a range of the many things they may have to deal with in the years after having cancer.

Physically, a cancer survivor might deal with:

• Physical scars that are visible to people (burns, surgery scars, removal of the breast)
• Physical scars underneath the skin that are not visible to people (tissue, nerve, muscle, cell damage)
• Fertility issues – including menopause and sexual issues
• Dental problems
• Sun protection issues
• Fatigue
• Loss of core strength and general strength, even simple things like jumping up and down on the spot
• Movement restriction
• Lymphatic drainage issues and lymphedema
• Side effects of post-cancer medication, and then they take other medication to counter act those side effects which gives another whole suite of side effects. E.g. – hot flushes, constant body aches and pains, hobbling when you get out of bed or out of a chair, nausea feelings, fatigue.
• Weight issues
• Dietary or digestive issues
• A temporary reduction in memory capacity, speed of recalling facts or even speech

Of course recovery isn’t just about repairing the body, but also the mind.

Mentally & emotionally, a cancer survivor may be dealing with:

• Grief and loss
• Sadness, resentment and anger
• Anxiety about follow up appointments
• Uncertainty
• Loneliness and isolation, difficulty getting back into a social scene
• Stress and being overwhelmed
• Fear of reoccurrence
• Self-consciousness in regard to appearance
• Depression
• Sexual and intimacy issues
• Financial stress

Some of these things are things that do improve over time, but some of these things can be permanent. Eventually, you learn to live with your new ‘normal’ and adjust your life accordingly. For some however, this process can be very difficult and take years to do.

You might be thinking, but how does this make a recovering cancer survivor any different to someone else who has to manage a life-long illness or chronic disease for the rest of their lives? It doesn’t. The main point I’m trying to make here is that people seem to think (& I used to be one of them) that once you survive cancer and you are seen to be resuming ‘normal life’ that there’s nothing wrong with you anymore. That they no longer require your support or understanding. This is simply not true. This is the one thing you need to know about surviving cancer. These people still require your support long after they are cancer-free, just like someone with a life-long illness requires that compassion. It will be with them for the rest of their life.

Eventually, most people who recover from cancer do make their peace with it. They find ways to move on. They work out their new priorities in life and plan to accommodate them into their life. But in the meantime, just be that little bit more aware and have that little bit more understanding towards them. We don’t expect special treatment, just acknowledgement that there might still be the odd battle going on and perhaps give them a little encouragement to keep on forging ahead.

* Any cancer story portrayed on this blog site is a reflection on my cancer experiences only. Each cancer experience is uniquely different. My words do not reflect the thoughts and feelings of other cancer patients or survivors. They are in no way to be taken as medical advice. Should you have any concerns, please seek professional help as I am not a medical practitioner.