The Dawn French Approach to Loving Your Body

A couple of weeks ago I had the honour of seeing the amazingly talented Dawn French live on stage in Brisbane. This one-woman show is anchored in Dawn’s life and is entitled “30 Million Minutes”, which is roughly how long Dawn French has been alive, give or take a few minutes. To say that I am a huge Dawn French fan would be the UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY! I think I could recite the ENTIRE script of ALL the “Vicar of Dibley” episodes backwards, in my sleep, as one great monologue. But to see my idol in this show gave me a whole new level of respect for this woman as she showed me a whole new way to loving your body.

Before the show, I didn’t really know what to expect. I had imagined it would be some sort of autobiographical account of her life told in her renowned comedic style, but what I didn’t expect was how motivational and uplifting she was. While listening to her, you are allowed into her life for a brief window of time to explore great moments of joy, sadness and difficult times. She uses her humour to convey all sorts of things that have occurred whilst she has been on this planet, as well as a few life lessons. But in between all the laughter, you are given time to breathe, reflect and process her words and emotions. That’s what humour does, really. That’s how we as humans get through things in life. Humour allows you to convey all sorts of experiences to each other, but also to relax and get through those tough times. In essence, laughter really is the best medicine.

The thing that I will remember the most, however, is her attitude to loving your body. When she tackled this topic in her show, I listened with great anticipation and was blown away with the response she gave. The only way I can describe it to you is to actually walk you through it on myself and my body. I’m sure I cannot deliver it as brilliantly, nor as funny, as the insanely clever Dawn French, but if you follow along, you will get the point that I’m trying to make. It goes a little something like this….

Our bodies are such amazing things. Each one is so uniquely different, both on the inside and the outside. We are the sum of our families. It’s basic genetics. We all poses a little bit of the people who have gone before us. But let’s talk about what I actually think of MY BODY. Let’s talk about each part of it and what I think of it starting at the top and working our way down, right to the toes.

Head & Face – The most useful feature of this area would have to be the brain. All those tiny little brain cells. Just think of all the wonderful things it has learnt since the day I was born. It learnt how to talk and communicate with the world. And what about my face? What about all those sights it has seen and the smells it has smelt. All those wonderful overseas holidays I’ve taken. Those picture-perfect postcard shots that I’ve taken with my eyes and stored in my memory. All those aromas I have smelt as they have wafted out of my kitchen while I’ve cooking up a storm. I couldn’t have done that without my head and my face. Do I even need to discuss taste? Oh the things I have tasted. I have one word for you here – CHOCOLATE! My smile. I cannot neglect to mention my smile and the two dimples I have – one in each of my cheeks. Boy, do those things get mentioned lots and lots by the people I meet! I remember a boy in preschool who used to call them my “holes in my cheeks”. My hair – I was devastated when I was told it would fall out with chemo. My hair was part of my identity. But it grew back and I have a rockin’ new platinum blonde short hair doo! My face and my head really are the window to my soul. They are what people connect with.

Neck – I do have one. It’s short but it’s functional. It holds my head up well and I can hang necklaces around it. It’s useful when I’m driving and I need to check left and right for traffic. It’s very good for talking as it holds my vocal chords.

Arms – Where would we be without our arms? They join our hands to our body for starters. We pick things up and move things with our arms. We reach things. I use them to cuddle my fur baby. There’s a lot of power in those arms. They are the power behind the hands when opening a door or steering a car. You can even get information out of them in the form of a blood test.

Breasts – I have had a love/hate relationship with them recently. I am fortunate that I have quite voluptuous ones (thanks genetics), but they tried to kill me once. Fortunately, my cancer journey is behind me now and I am grateful I got to keep them. They may be a bit scarred now from all the poking and prodding that I put them through, but they have promised not to try and kill me again, so I’ve let them hang around a bit longer.

Hands & Fingers – THE most practical part of the body, especially the apposable thumbs. Again, think of the things these 10 little sausages have done. They’ve held my mother’s hand. They’ve stuffed every morsel of that chocolate into my mouth. They’ve learnt to type and handwrite. They get dressed up to go out on the town. They even have helped the community after a natural disaster by wielding a chainsaw to cut up fallen trees. How amazing are my hands!?! What’s not to love about them?

Torso & Hips – On the outside, I have a very hour glass and proportionate torso. I actually do have a waist. I will sometimes get a dressmaker who seems surprised at that fact. My bust and my hips are almost (but not quite) the same measurements. Yes they are on the grander side of things, but they are proportionate. On the inside, there are one or two things of the female variety that do not work as well as they should. For me, should I choose to go there one day, the ability to have children will be a difficult. It always was the case, and after having chemo, it makes things even more challenging. But it doesn’t define me, nor does it bother me. I still lead a very fulfilling life outside of motherhood. My life has meaning, just a different sort. That’s all. And I’m very ok with that!

Bottom – Sometimes I think Beyoncé aint got nothin’ on me! It’s curved and in proportion to the rest of my body. I actually HAVE a bottom that fills out a pair of jeans. My bottom is too bootilicious, baby!

Legs – The most peculiar part of my body as I am knock-kneed. I cannot stand up and put my knees and my ankles together. This is the reason I was never any good at running races at school, nor can I roller skate or ski very well. They may also be quite short, but they get me where I “kneed” to go without too many complaints (See what I did there? Kneed instead of need! *insert your laughter here*). I don’t take this for granted as I have a family member who nearly lost the ability to walk. So I am fully aware of their importance. I don’t know what I’d do without them.

Feet & Toes – The scientific fact about your feet is that they are the exact size they need to be to counteract you height and weight and stop you falling over. Did you know that? If you lost a heap of weight, your feet would also lose weight and go down a size because you don’t need them to be that big anymore. If you put weight on, your feet size increase (more so in width but also in length). Thank you, feet. You keep me upright and mobile. You make my life and the life of my legs much easier.

That’s it. That’s all there is to it. Start at the top, work your way down and acknowledge the remarkable things your body can do. All you have to do is be grateful for the experiences your body has had and the sum of your genetics. Isn’t Dawn’s approach to loving your body just so simple? I absolutely love the way that she doesn’t say, “Oh God, I hate this,” or “I don’t like my such and such.” She refuses to be a ‘Negative Nelly’ and instead, finds the things that are truly amazing and unique about the body. What’s even better, she is truly grateful that it’s there! We need more of this in today’s world. Too much negative body image going around. It’s also very therapeutic doing this ‘top down’ strategy. You really do feel like you have a little spring in your step afterwards and you fall in love with your body.

Give it a go yourself. You won’t regret it! Leave your words on how it went for you in the comments below. I’d love to hear them.

Dawn, if by some miracle you are reading my humble little blog, I do hope the way I interpreted your words of wisdom did them justice. I know I was truly thankful that I was in the audience to hear your story, to laugh along with you, to experience your joy, to feel your sadness, and to grow (killed myself laughing at your reference to Kath, Kim and Sharon!). I certainly got more than I bargained for that night and have a new level of respect for you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

To my mother – thank you for buying me the ticket. Best. Birthday. Present. Ever! Love you dearly. xxx